Mirror, Mirror.

A few weeks ago, I went speed-dating for the second time.  Though this post has very little to do with that, it does have something to do with it...

While at speed-dating, I met 9 men.  2 of them were... Well, I would not want to see them ever again.  Ever.  4 of them were okay, but they were not people I would want to go out on a date with.  However, two of those guys would have gone out with me.  3 of them I could see a "first date" with.  So, I wrote down their names on my sheet.  Two of those people did not write me down, but one of them did.

I did actually have a wonderful first date with this particular guy, R.  However, he has since disappeared, but that is another story.  Plus, it's not the point of this post.  So, I'll get to my point.

R was what you would call "very attractive".  He clearly worked out.  He clearly had some very nice muscles -- arms and chest, especially.  And...  He had a very pretty face!  Amazing blue eyes!  And fantastic short, spiky hair!!!!!  (Yes, he was also smart, kind, generous, etc., but clearly he was not that smart if he disappeared before having a second date with me!)  The people I spoke to about this guy knew I thought he was "very attractive".  They also knew that I had not been on a date with a guy of this attractiveness before.  I mean...  He was "gym rat"!  That's tough to compete with.  (No offense, guys!)

Back to my point...  I kept thinking in my head, "Why did this guy match with me?  Clearly, I'm not a model.  So, what was the reasoning?  Perhaps, it was my brain.  Yeah, that must be it!  Plus, I have personality.  And..  Who can resist the giggle?!"  I was talking to M about this, and I also mentioned thinking that I was not "pretty enough" for this guy.  But...  I would be in August after my workout regime.  M reminded me that that was ridiculous!

I am "pretty enough".  I have so much to offer any man that is lucky enough to be with me!  Most importantly, I am perfect in God's eyes.  And you know what...

I actually took a good hard look at myself in the mirror on Sunday.  I may have teared up a bit...  And you know why?!  For the first time in probably a year, I looked at myself in a mirror and thought, "You have a pretty face!"  I do not know if it was the lighting, the residual makeup on my face, or the lack of a giant mole on my nose.  I do, however, know it is directly related to my face looking thinner/healthier.  There is something about being able to see my bone structure that makes me feel much more beautiful.

In the end, I am not doing this to find some guy.  I am doing this to better myself!  To be healthy!  To feel good inside and outside!  It's about ME.  It's about changing MY lifestyle so that I can LIVE!